How to have a Good Relationship with your Non-horsey Partner

Are you struggling to find the right balance between your equestrian passion and your non-horsey partner? Learn the secrets to harmonious love and horse relationships in this comprehensive guide. We've added quotes and an entertaining anecdote to keep you engaged as we explore the art of time management, effective communication, and financial harmony while caring for your beloved equine companions.

Jeremy Ricketts
Jeremy Ricketts Posted on 11 January 2023
4 Min Read Shani with horse

Table of Contents

    "Love is honesty. Love is a mutual respect for one another"




    In the world of horse lovers, it's no secret that the bond with your trusty equine friend can dominate your life. However, this passion often comes at a cost, as non-horsey partners frequently feel neglected and simply put aside. After all, we know horses need daily attention, and for most of us, this means fitting their needs around work. This requires some serious balancing to create harmony between your partner and horse and is a bit like a high-wire act in the circus.

    You don’t take your horses for granted and must not take your partner for granted. To maintain a happy relationship sound communication and understanding between both partners must exist. Remember, a horse brings great joy but requires considerable time and commitment. This must be understood from the outset, and couples must be “on the same page”. However, you must have mutual quality time where you share activities outside the horse world and put each other first. Remember, It takes hard work, dedication, and flexibility to keep your relationship with your partner strong while tending to the needs of your equine friends. 


    The Non-horsey Perspective

    For your partner, your passion for horses might have seemed like an exciting adventure. The idea of you donning peculiar riding attire and gracefully trotting around on horseback while they enjoyed a glass or two of wine sounds good but is not reality. Your non-horsey partner will have to put up with the following:


    • Horses are Time-Consuming

    Yes, this must be restated as,this means really time-consuming and you will be spending more time with your horse than with your partner.

    • Horses Smell

    That’s right they “pen and ink” and so will you until you shower and change out of smelly horsey clothes.  Remember that your partner will not be “nose blind” to horse smells.

    • Horses are Expensive to Buy and keep

    As a horse owner, you will be a “high-maintenance partner”.


    So in reality, you will need to work hard at your relationship with a non-horsey partner because from their perspective you are “hard work” and expensive.


    Jeremy and Shani have shared this wisdom with us.

    Jeremy and Shani

    Top Tip 1

    “Embrace your passion for horses and your partner in equal measures”.

    The Struggle of Time Management for Horse Owners

    Effective time management is crucial. Here are some top tips: Horses come with a demanding schedule, which often means finding a way to balance their needs with your partner's expectations can be a significant challenge. Effective time management is the key to maintaining this equilibrium, and here are some top tips:


    • Complete most horse care duties when they won't affect your partner.
    • Dedicate quality time to your partner daily.
    • Avoid filling days off work with horse activities.
    Jeremy and Shani

    Top Tip 2

    “Look after your horses and keep them well and happy. Do the same for your partner”.

    Think of your partner as you do your horse. Just as you care for your equine friend, it's essential to nurture your human relationship with equal devotion. These things are very closely linked. For example, you might get out of bed 2 hours early to complete the majority of your horse duties while your partner sleeps. On returning home from work in the evening you will then spend less time on your horsey chores so that every evening there is quality time with your partner. Ride early in the morning when you both have days off work as this means you have time together.

    Communication is Key

    Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. A non-horsey partner must feel comfortable discussing their feelings about your horse hobby without judgment. Here's how you can improve your communication:


    • Address minor issues before they escalate to avoid arguments.
    • Discuss plans for future horse-related events together.

    The Price of Passion 

    Horses aren't cheap. To maintain a good lifestyle with your partner, you need to manage your finances wisely. It's essential to allocate funds for both your horse and your shared experiences with your partner. There must be money available to maintain a good lifestyle with your partner as well as for keeping your horse. If this is not possible you will have to choose between having a partner or a horse.

    Don't Forget Family

    A horse-centered lifestyle shouldn't be all-consuming. Remember, your partner's interests matter just as much as your equestrian pursuits. Support and encourage each other's passions by going the extra mile.


    Top tip 3

    “Your lifestyle must not be exclusively horse-orientated”.


     "My partner and I made a pact to attend each other's events. I found myself clapping at her pottery classes, and she cheered for me at my dressage competitions. It was our way of saying, 'I may not understand it all, but I love and support you.'"


    The take-home Message

    Balancing love and horses is an art. Communication is vital, but it goes both ways. As a horse owner, your commitment to your equine friend is substantial, but you must also dedicate quality time to your partner. Equally important, you must maintain a good lifestyle with your partner, ensuring you can afford your horse without sacrificing the joy of your relationship. 


    Love is like riding a horse, it's all about finding that sweet spot of balance, keeping communication open, and galloping towards a harmonious partnership. So, saddle up and ride towards a love story that's as epic as your finest dressage! Ultimately, in life and love, listen to these words of wisdom from the Dalai Lama: “Mutual respect is the foundation of genuine harmony.”


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    Jeremy Ricketts

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    Hello, I'm the resident writer here at The Rideout. I've been riding horses for the best part of... well my entire life! Over the years of owning, riding, competing and looking after horses I've built up a small wealth of information.

    This site owes tribute to my many hours spent in and out of the saddle learning about the behaviours, needs, and quirks of these amazing animals. From basic care and grooming to advanced training techniques, I've honed my skills through years of hands-on experience.

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